26/03/05

hH.. don't worry about your face or about getting a scottish husband :) i suppose you could say it's the best time for you to look for a husband now.. coz if that guy falls for you.. it means he's really after wats inside.

seriously. ti's like that extreme makeover show. All those ladies going for makeovers even tho' they already have loving husbands and boyfrens. It makes me wonder ... do we gals just think that it's our looks the guys are after?  is that wat they relaly go for?

A survey confirmed that for first impressions and that first sign of attraciton.. looks rank the highest. but whether the relationship goes one step further.. other factors come into play.

on a diff note..
I looked down into the toilet after my visit and freaked out when i saw blood. Melena, ulcerative colities, ruptured hemoorhoids and a dozen other differentials ran through my mind .. called jas. sigh. i suppose that's when being a med studnet comes in handy. :) after listening to Jas' diagnosis.. it made me feel loads calmer.

at 26/03/05 1:22 PM | Comments (0)

26/03/05


Heya HH.. hope your rash is better :).


ANd then there was this patient

  Jas was saying to me and lz at dinner, "you always meet these patients on your most crappy days. Days when you wanna give up all hope, days when you feel like you can't go on and finish the course... and then you listen to them, and you find strength in their stories and words."

 I had the priviledge of meeting one such patient last week. We were doing an ICM on breast examinations. In between the guys merrily hammering on the fake boobs on the table and gingerly performing a breast exam ( while trying to avoid insensitive remarks like.. " i would like to have a general feel of your breast") .. we had a patient who came and talked to us.

 Patient X was a lady with advanced breast cancer... probably one of the 1 -2% of advanced breast cancer pts who were still alive. She told us her story.. of her life.. and of how she slowly lost it to cancer. THe thing that touched me most was how she summoned the strength to keep going. Her husband walked out of her after she received the diagnosis.. leaving her and her 3 young daughters to struggle through almost 12 years of a constant battle with the cancer.

THe cancer waged an unyielding battle on her body. It appeared almost everywhere, reappearing as soon as the preceding battle had been won. She endured over 80 chemo sessions, hormone therapy, radioablation treatments. You name it, she' s had it. All this time, she juggled work and bringing up her daughters. She refused to take sick leave, draggin herself to work throughout her chemo course.

" I wanted to live," she told us.  No one at work asked her how she felt. They were too scared to open that can of worms. She was a high ranking manager, but her illness forced her to quit her job and take the humble job of being a cleaner. But she perservered through it all.

" i would love to go to greece ," she said. " It's so easy for ppl to plan where to go... but for me.. i know i don't have the financial capability. And even if i might have it in hte future, i don't know if i'll still be around."

  SHe didn't know when she would die. Her cancer was in remission now.. " hopefully, it won't come back," she said wryly, looking at her long medical HX. It's easy to see her skepticsim.. Her cancer just kept coming back. Life was an utter uncertainty .

But she was still active. Even in her failing health, she volunteered at teh breast cancer support group, she came to melb uni to share her experiences, she was still taking care of one daughter and she worked... 

Even if cancer was slowly eating her inside out, she wasn't going down without a fight. perhaps not an all out fight to find a cure, but a fight to retain her dignity and enjoy the remainder of her life.


 

at 26/03/05 1:16 PM | Comments (0)

22/03/05

hi XL
now my spate of self pity has passed, it occurred to me that perhaps you might not like the design of our blog. Just wanted tell you to feel free to change it anytime...

I think the colour of the font I've just used is quite out. Black makes it easier to read but is out of line with the blue theme... Feel free to change that too, if you want. =)

Okay, I am at the risk of sounding like a broken record, so I shall stop here.

Take care yah?

Love lots,
Hilda 

at 22/03/05 6:15 PM | Comments (0)

22/03/05

I am still waiting for God to send me a husband, but in this state I'm in, I think He will need to work very very hard.

at 22/03/05 6:11 PM | Comments (0)

22/03/05
Blotches and Spotches

I went to sleep 3 nights ago feeling like Sleeping Beauty and woke up looking like Frankenstein.

I now have spotches and blotches all over my face from my allergy to Neutrogena day cream.

For the past 3 days just about 30 people have come up to me commenting on my nice "tan".

"No, it is not a tan-- it is an allergy. To Neutrogena. Yes, I know it is really hypoallergenic. Well, you better believe it, coz you're seeing it. Yes, I know that's weird. No, I'm not going to sue them..."

It's been making me really self conscious so much so that I've spent the day at home "nursing my face", as my housemate's boyfriend calls it.

If he's not careful, his face will end up looking like mine.

at 22/03/05 6:10 PM | Comments (0)

22/03/05
Patho Lect 1-Signs and Symptoms of Gulttony

 I think the feeding centres of my hypothalamus must have doubled in size overnight.

I have skulked to the kitchen and opened the fridge no less than 20 times today. 

 

If gluttony is a pathological condition, I am experiencing an acute exacerbation of it today.

 

I have always wondered how one knows when their gluttony is bordering on pathological. I think I know now. It is when:

 
1)      The mere whisper of “chocolate cake” reflexively sends shivers down your spine

 
2)       You are having a sumptious 3 course lunch and all you can think of is what to have for dinner.

3)      It feels like the end of the world has come when you get to your favourite seafood stall a few minutes too late and it’s closed—you cannot comprehend how it is within the realms of humanity to close without waiting for you to arrive.

4)      You see a scrumplicious looking chocolate cake in Peckhams and you buy it. As you carry it home, your parotids are revving in top gear and all that fills your mind as you cross the busy intersection is not the cars zooming two inches from your toes but that one sublime, perfectly crafted piece of chocolate cake. When you get home, you lovingly unwrap it, grab a fork, cut a lavish slice and poise the fork in mid-air, angling it to deliver the choice morsel in the only way you know would do it justice. Eating is an art, you feel, and you of all people, should know it. The cake hits your palate and there’s this split second of nervous excitement as the messages from your taste buds travel to your brain. You taste the cake at last, but alas!—it is dry, crumbly and old. The sense of disappointment that wells up in you is acute. You feel cheated, betrayed. You are virtually in tears and all that you can think of the whole week is that one fateful bite—dry, old and crumbly.

at 22/03/05 6:08 PM | Comments (0)

18/03/05
ANd I was floored by it all.

  It's funny how your body just doesn't obey your mind or your will at times. I had some difficulty donating blood because my body just ended up getting a pseudo anaphylatic reaction.

 It wasn't because I was scared.
Or that the pain was too bad too bear.
My nervous system was just way beyond my control.

  It's just like say.. getting cancer. It's conditions and situations beyond your control. 

  My mom always rolls her eyes when i go into a faint over something as trival as a slightly twisted ankle. 
 

 I'm seriously not going pale on purpose. . it might give me a chance of resembing a geisha.. but i suspect that the final effect result in me looking more like a plump cha siew bao  than a mystic beauty in white. 

  And i suppose, unless i faint into the arms of a willing young gentleman, the fainting response doesn't do me much good either. And come to think of it.. i don't think i'm doing the guy a favour either coz he'll be lots flatter.

  Psychological? My mom would nod. I beg to differ. Sometimes.. things aren't " all in your head."
It's all in the veins baby, ti's all in the Nerves and the veins.

at 18/03/05 12:29 PM | Comments (0)